| | haven't written anything about myself for months.
well... i am still somewhere in between excited and exhausted about my wedding. have mixed feeling about living a new life 2 weeks from now. not really prepared to say goodbye to my childish way of life. but feel the urge to grow up and to establish something (though i can't tell what they actually are at this moment). hope everything will be fine.
1st term is almost over. taught much more than i should this term, and i am determined to cut most of them in the coming term. the funniest thing is that according to MM, a teaching assistant is not supposed to teach ensemble and applied music courses (and he called it "problem of history"). but i am always asked to take more ensembles every now and then, and i suppose MM has suggested some of the year 1 students to take applied music course with me. there will be lots of department concerts in the coming term which i have to take care of - nightmares.... hope i can survive all these.
no time to practice my beloved flute. a bit depressed for that.... wish to take another flute exam in april next year, but not that optimistic in view of my workload. the art festival concert is coming, and i can foresee many of my time devoted to rehearsals and self practicing. to be frank, i really enjoy playing in this group. the only problem is the limitation of this musical instrument - almost impossible to solve problem involving chromaticism, modulations, etc. and i don't have a good guzheng for such performance..... have to find suitable instruments for this concert very soon.
have much less chance to perform this year. partly because i didn't go to teahouse as often as before, partly due to my changing attitude towards chinese music. as i have said before, i almost got disgusted playing and listening to new chinese music. now i can gradually understand why western music players look down on chinese music. but i still teach guzheng as my career. can you feel my frustration teaching something that i don't truly appreciate? whenever people show their admiration to my career, thinking that i am able to earn my living by doing something that i love, i want slap them on their faces. chinese music is something to be appreciated from a distance. but beware not to get too close to it. it works well as reminiscences or nostalgia, esp for elderly who used to listen to it in their youth. or if you want to modernize or professionalize it, going to the opposite end of technical proficiency is not a bad thing per se. the annoying part of that is to see the majority of players (and guzheng "masters" as well) striving for speed and power without paying attention to music, accuracy, sound quality, musical structure, etc., and they attract audience.... i heard a comment to hongkong commercial music scene recently, and i think it applies here: "there is no music in hongkong commercial market. it's your fault to criticize them because you assumed that they are music and they should attain certain quality." how sad....
the graduation ceremony took place few days ago. as usual, i have no interest to attend. i got what a wanted (the certificate and the knowledge) already, and i don't feel esp excited about that. the only thing that i might regret upon is that i didn't inform my mum of the ceremony, and she might be very sad to know she missed the chance to witness "the glorious moment of her son's life".
yesterday was our 5th anniversary. i am very happy to be with her. we were both too busy to have any celebration, but that doesn't matter at all. 5 years..... what would i be after another 5 years? suddenly feel a bit lost. i am not as confident in the future as i was before....... |
| | Posted 12/11/2007 3:26 AM - 2617 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
